Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.
Anne lamott
As midlife women we’re especially vulnerable to stress after living with undiagnosed ADHD for so many years. And sometimes all we desperately want is a quick fix, a way to dial down our stress right this minute.
We may be stressed by different things and have different levels of tolerance as well as different responses to stress. But there’s plenty of commonality.
So let’s identify some of the most common signs of stress before taking a look at a few quick and easy ways I’ve found to effectively dial down my own anxiety levels at stressful times.
What is stress?
Stress is our physical and emotional response to stressors like challenging events and change. We face a constant barrage of these in our lives, ranging from minor day-to-day irritations, like getting stuck in traffic, to life-changing events such as the loss of a loved one.
As well as all the stuff we actually face in the real world, there’s also what we worry might happen in the future, plus events from our past that we keep replaying and can’t let go of. Because we respond the same way if something is actually real here and now or if we just perceive it as real in our heads.
That’s how powerful our minds are!
Signs of stress
If you’re like me, you probably just try power through stressful situations and even long periods of anxiety. To be honest, I sometimes don’t even realise I am stressed because I’m too busy fighting fires or keeping all those balls in the air.
But if we can teach ourselves to recognise our stress signs and bring some awareness to the situation, we can give ourselves a little care and attention and bring the temperature down.
Signs that we may be under stress include:
- sleep problems
- feeling more tired than usual
- physical tension showing up in aching muscles, headaches or other pain
- digestive problems
- shallow breathing
- rapid heart rate
- feeling more anxious than usual
- feeling panicky
- racing thoughts
- catastrophising
- avoiding things/people
- feeling more awkward than usual in social situations
- feeling more angry or irritable than we normally do
- finding it even harder than ever to focus and be productive
- feeling even more unsure of ourselves and our abilities.
In the longer term we would benefit from addressing the causes of stress, and our habitual responses to stressful situations. For example Kelly McGonigal offers a radically different approach to stress in her book The Upside of Stress. I’m planning to write another post on this (if I don’t forget or procrastinate…).
But for the time being, your pressing need is to find rapid relief from the intensity of those feelings of stress and anxiety right here, right now.
14 quick ways to reduce stress
Luckily it turns out there are some quick, easy and effective steps we can take that will reduce stress and relieve anxiety right now. Here are a few that work well for me.
- Taking some slow, mindful breaths (in and out through your nose) when you feel yourself tensing up.
- Taking action on something that’s bothering you – identifying and taking the first small step is enough to decrease the feelings of anxiety.
- Doing something you love for 10 minutes – I’m a bookworm and I find reading gets me out of my head and relaxes me.
- Talking to someone positive who will listen to you without judging.
- Getting outside for a walk.
- Cuddling your cat (or playing with your dog).
- Doing some exercise – even just 15 minutes helps.
- Listening to music.
- Reading or watching something funny – laughter really IS the best medicine.
- Eating mindfully – slow down and really think about the food in front of you, its colour, texture, smell and taste.
- Doing something kind for someone else – apart from being good for the soul, it focuses our attention on something other than our own stress and anxiety.
- Having a relaxing bath (maybe light some candles and pretend you’re in a spa!).
- Look at your calendar for things you don’t actually need to do – and remove them.
- Plan a treat for yourself – it can be something small like sitting in the sun with a cup of coffee, as long as it’s something you’ll enjoy.
Final thoughts
I use simple practices like these to help me feel less anxious in the moment when I can’t do anything to change the situation.
I also have a couple of ways to make this approach even more effective.
Make your own stress-busting handbook. A list of maybe 5-10 self-care practices that work for you so you can turn to them as soon as you realise your stress levels are climbing. You’ll feel more prepared to cope with stress when it arises and will be able to dial down your anxiety quickly and easily.
Enjoy the process. Don’t just think of taking a walk, say, as a means to an end – a stress reduction technique. Enjoy the walk! Savour everything about it – the sights, sounds, smells – all of it. Immerse yourself in the experience. Just be in the moment. Sounds a bit woo-woo but it works for me!!
Do you have your own tried and tested ways to reduce stress? Why not share them in the comments to help the rest of us expand our repertoire?
